air miles

i have travelled

6,373 miles to return to

me. 

with each mile i am unfolding

discarding petals of a dewy, fleshy

pink. 

with each breath another

falls away to reveal

my blackness -

rounded, smoothed glistening.

new to each of you who only

knew the passivity of my youth
which wrapped what you could not understand
in pink roses.

barbie always wore pink. 

with each mile 'i' am blooming,

breathing,

beating new life into the 

hidden selves that lay buried somewhere

deep within towers of ivory

and all the ways you wanted me

to be. 

don't be surprised, that i emerge fucking angry

doused in kerosene and rage, 

i dare you to strike your match first. 

i didn't know what else to be

no one taught me what black even means - and so i grew fearful 

of myself.

your lessons spread like venom, causing me to default. 

wait - apparently it's actually my fault, you said i read the signs wrong. 

 forgive me, i must have been looking in all the wrong places - but six feet tall advertisements 

adorning sky scrapers, really do catch your eye

and they don't flash faces of my own mahogany design.
except for maybe, beyonce.

beyonce sure does wear a lot of pink. like barbie did.

in case you were curious, 

it may only take you 6,373 miles.

this is the distance of a journey inward
through the wormhole of my soul

where i deleted from memory, every line i was fed.
and all the things that i read wrong.

all of this, to introduce myself to me.

hello. see?  i am black, i am beauty.

and i hate pink.