untitled

I whisper to my past –
Do I have another choice?
She replies
“not one that you’ll likely
Choose.”
And so I return to walk in
footprints I’ve already
forged and
failures I’ve already
mourned.
All for the sake of
‘love’.

small stone: in your presence (orange jumpsuits)

I am belittled, beguiled and
beatified.
Made to genuflect in the presence of
a magnificent
waste
the systems latest disgrace that
traps beautiful minds and
calls to arms
potential
to lay buried beneath
painted scars and
armoured guards.

and i cannot look directly
into your truth.
My heart roars a call that leaves me
terrified in
the recognition of self in such a
presumably distant other

and i know we are different
but this knowledge does nothing
to dissuade my wish that we were
destined.

small stone - hide and go sleep

it's too late
for memory lane.
heart catching lyrics
love lorn
and forlorn
sighs of regret.
but i was never very good
at hiding
from love.

The rains

Wash me clean
Cold,crisp.
Breathing in the new
and out the
old
pains of your loving words
and mistaken dreams.

Wash me clean.
Beating on my heavy shoulders and
dripping into seas of memories.
I push your boat along the nile of denial
and look towards
tomorrow where you and I
The you’s and ‘I’s
are inconsequential.

Where, you, are inconsequential
And
I
can start anew,
and make new messes
of my heart.

small stones - my small stone

pressure on the palm of my hand
to remind me that i sit
on the precipice of pain
on the precipice of patience
and most importantly
the precipice of a place where these things
don't matter.

small stones - grey eyes (take a guess)

Can i pretend?
just for a minute
or two.

Would you like to join me?
guess at the things my mind has been
thinking
peek into the world that i am building
its you and i
and gardens of
lush, lavish leaves of
emerald and ivy
spotted pillows of pink
blossoms

you are sprinkling them along the paths that we follow to our
collective tomorrow
the sun partitions
reality and circumstance
and you take may hand as if
nothing else matters.

i don't think that with a million years
you'd have ever guessed, that all of that
was hidden in a stranger's smile.

best crush

I can, taste
it.

springing eternal from bottomless cups of coffee,
shared cupcakes while sat
nestled beneath tall trees and blades of green,
it's moist enough that you can also

hear it,
singing a song that thunders round the cavity of your heart
sounds like a tune that
sounds like a song that you used to know
back when you felt home.

I can feel it
as it climbs up from my toes
to the tips of fingers and tips of lips,
nervous and heavy with old regrets
but who wants to
think of those things when
you can finally
see
hope?